


The Mystrade Dialogues

by Anglofile



Series: The Mystrade Dialogues [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-21
Updated: 2012-05-22
Packaged: 2017-11-05 18:56:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/409894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anglofile/pseuds/Anglofile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Conversations held between Mycroft Holmes and Detective Inspector Greg Lestrade at different points in their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Phonecall

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mystradedoodles](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Mystradedoodles).



Ring, ring.

“Mycroft Holmes.” 

“What are you wearing?”

“Detective Inspector, thank you for getting back to me.”

“Bet it’s that suit that makes your arse look fantastic.”

“You say that about every single one of them.”

“That’s because you have a fantastic arse.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, Detective. However, I am quite busy at the moment.”

“God I want to rip some of those suits off you. Dishevel the hell out of you to the point you can’t hide it. Want to fuck you over your desk, the one you’re probably sitting at right now. Want to?”

“I’m afraid you’re not acknowledging the severe security risks involved in that.”

“Mmmm…perhaps the one at your house then. Play a bit of Detective Inspector and the naughty British Government.”

“Is there anything I can say to change your mind regarding this conversation?”

“Ohhhh…God fuck yes. Arresting you, putting you in handcuffs….”

“I know what you’re trying to do. It won’t work.”

“Trying? Oh…oh…so hard here Mycroft. Bend you over that desk, rub myself between that fucking arse until you were begging for it.”

“Don’t think you’ll get out of the consequences if you continue in this line of action.”

“Mmmmm…oh fuck…Ah….Whose saying I’d avoid it? Love it when you’re acting all posh and intimidating. Sexy.”

“Why?”

“All that power and posh upbringing? Makes me want to have you beg for me to fuck you. AH, oh Christ that’s good!”

“Really Inspector, you have to realize that my hands are tied.”

“They will be. Oh God they will be. Get all of the control out of those fucking long fingers. Suck you until you scream. Bite you just where your collar rubs against it. Remind you who did it to you, who’s the only person that you cede control to, the only person who can fuck you. Oh fuck…MYCROFT.”

“Excuse me just a moment, Anthea. Minor problem I need to discuss in private. Yes, keep taking notes.”

“Ahah, knew I could get you to-“

“We’ll discuss this when I get home and begging won’t help you Gregory, I promise you that.”


	2. A Phonecall Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mycroft finds his revenge for the events of A Phonecall Part I.

Ring, ring.

“Lestrade.”

“Hello Gregory. I see you’re busy keeping your forensics officer from killing Sherlock so I won’t be but a moment.”

“Keeping tabs on this one are you sir?”

“Oh yes. See, I keep my promises and I believe I promised you revenge.”

“I thought you’d already done that. In triplicate even.”

“I’ve not even begun. Let’s play a game shall we? Let’s see how long it takes little brother to notice you’re about to come in your trousers.”

“I don’t think I can participate in that right now sir.”

“I don’t believe you have a choice in the matter.”

“Fantastic.”

“Let’s start with the proverbial ‘What are you wearing?’ shall we? I’ve not taken my suit off, just unbuttoned it for easy access. I know how much you like it, seeing me half-clothed, like I’m too frantic to bother being completely naked. Makes you proud to have managed it.”

“Y…yes, but I really do think we should continue this conversation later, preferably after a performance review.”

“Hmmm…yes, quite. I’ll be in my office when you come in uninvited. I’ll tell you you’ve been too impertinent, too rash for too long. You’ll grin, unrepentant, and come closer, straddling me so that you see my excitement.”

“I think that may be presuming too much.”

“Is it? Ohhhhhhh…I think it’s presuming entirely the right amount. You can resist me when I’m begging for it.”

“You’ve…you’ve started the ah project already, haven’t you?”

“Oh yes…You’d hold my hands down so I could do nothing but squirm, oh God yes, and grind against me. I’d strain forward for a kiss and you’d laugh and refuse and I would growl, threatening you with everything I could. Your hips would press harder, faster and finally, oh Greg, finally you’d press your advantage.”

“That…that must be very hard to complete in time.”

“Oh Gregory, yes, I’m so very hard. So close now. So close.”

“I really, really think we should discuss this in person. Please.”

“OH yes, please, please I want you to take me now. I want you inside of me, filling me, taking me apart until I become insensible from the pleasure…GREGORY…”

“Did you…I’ve got to go downstairs to pick up some paperwork! Try not to kill Anderson while I’m gone…fuck’s sake.”

“Problem?”

“Your brother says hello.”


	3. A Bedtime Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mycroft and Greg talk the night before their wedding.

“This is ridiculous.”

“Mother is very…conservative Gregory. Traditional. Just be glad the doors are thin in this wing.”

“This wing…he says as if everyone had multiple bloody wings on their houses.”

“I’ve not mislead you as to the social status you’re about to become part of.”

“It’s hardly my fault I have a hang up on posh blokes in three piece suits.”

“How romantic that I seem to be one of at least four you’ve dated since you started University.”

“I never promised you a rose garden, but then again you already have one…don’t you?”

“Two but that’s beside the point. What I seem to recall being promised was a cup of tea that never materialized.”

“Look, I offered you a substitute.”

“Yes, that was the first time I was offered a sexual favour because someone had forgotten to do the shopping.”

“I don’t seem to recall any complaints.”

“Nor do I, though I do seem to recall some begging.”

“Look, I hadn’t had sex in-“

“Six months, three days, and approximately seven hours, I remember.”

“I hate when you do that.”

“No you don’t. I did warn you.”

“Yeah, I remember. You backed me up against the wall of my flat, smiled the cleanest filthy smile I’ve ever seen, and told me exactly what I wanted you to do to me.”

“As I seem to recall, I was correct.”

“Fuck yes you were. I didn’t think nearly blacking out from an orgasm was actually possible before that.”

“Gregory.”

“Yes?”

“Why did you ask to see me for dinner that night? What made it different from all the other meetings we had before?”

“You don’t know already?”

“Obviously not.”

“It was Sherlock. You’d just been driven off in one of your cars and suddenly behind me I hear ‘Ask him to dinner.’”

“My brother told you to ask me to dinner.” 

“Well whatever reaction he got from me, and from the heat of my cheeks at the time I can pretty much figure out what it was, had him rolling his eyes at me like I’d missed something so completely obvious only to people who happen to be a Holmes. Then he tells me you were lonely. Didn’t have anyone in your life. Told me you’d been pining for me since before the divorce.”

“I do not PINE.”

“Yeah you do. Hush, I’m telling you a bedtime story. So I voice my doubts about that because Mr. Mycroft Holmes seems perfectly comfortable by himself, thank you very much, when Sherlock actually appears…concerned. You know, he does actually care about you.”

“I know.”

“Good. Now, the next thing he says is that we both need to stop being idiots and since you were being particularly stupid that week-“

“How heartwarming.”

“I’m getting to the best part. He said I’d have to be the one to move things forward and if we were very lucky, I might just make you less of an insufferable prat. Practically a ringing endorsement…from him at least.”

“And how does this bedtime story end?”

“Well, the handsome knight, that’s me…”

“No arguments there.”

“Like I was saying…The handsome knight found the prince in his lair.”

“Tower. A lair makes me sound like a Bond villain.”

“Tower then. The handsome knight found the prince in his tower and invited him to dinner. Soon dinner turned into more dinners and more dinners turned into weekends away and pretty soon the knight pledged his…”

“Troth?”

“Yeah…that. The handsome knight had fallen in love with his prince. So they shacked up…”

“The prince invited the knight to share his quarters…Really, Gregory, what kind of story is this?”

“Christ, were you like this every time someone read you a story? As I was saying…They were very much in love. Until one day the knight was minorly injured in a tournament-“

“Being shot by a murder suspect is MINOR?”

“Mycroft, let me finish the Goddamn story. When the brave and handsome knight woke up, he found the prince sitting beside his bed. The faithful prince had stayed up all night at his love’s bedside because he had been so very worried that his knight would not recover from his minor wounds. So the valiant and completely fucking attractive prince smiled softly and said…”

“Gregory, I love you beyond measure and I can’t…I can’t wait another moment to ask you. Will you do me the honour of marrying me at our earliest convenience?”

“And then I said…?”

“About fucking time. Of course I will you idiot.”

“Good story?”

“The very best.”

“Not long now, is it?”

“No, no long.”

“I love you Mycroft.”

“I love you too.”

“Goodnight. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Sleep well my love.”


	4. Happily Ever After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mycroft talks Greg down from some pre-wedding jitters the morning of the event. Sequel to A Bedtime Story.

“Gregory, I’m being told you’re wearing a line in the floor of your room.”

“I thought we weren’t supposed to see one another before the wedding. What about tradition?”

“I am completely in line with my mother’s wishes. However, I do have a staff.”

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

“The fact that you neglected to make an excruciatingly bad joke about my staff tells me everything I need to know.”

“My jokes aren’t that bad.”

“Clearly there’s something that’s bothering you. What is it?”

“Half the world’s heads of state are arriving to our wedding.”

“Technically they are not the world’s heads of state-“

“Just holders of minor positions in the world’s governments?”

“Precisely.”

“It’s not just them. All of the other guests on your side have double or triple barrelled surnames. I’m…I’m just an old cop, Mycroft. Barely high enough in the world to have one surname, not three.”

“I see. Gregory…it sounds like it’s my time to tell a story. Shall I?”

“It’s fine. Really. You don’t have to-“

“Oh I think I do. Let’s see…Once upon a time, there were two princes who were the smartest people in all the land.”

“And so very modest too.”

“I’m merely relaying the facts. Now the eldest prince was very lonely but he knew he had a larger purpose. He worked to fulfill his duty until one day he saw he couldn’t care so much if he was to succeed in his new role. So he asked to be put under a spell. Do you know what spell that was?”

“Control of all the CCTV cameras in the kingdom?”

“No…that came with his minor position in the kingdom’s government. The spell he asked for encased his heart in ice, where it could be touched by no one. Soon he was known as the Iceman by his enemies and acquaintances alike and even his younger brother could not get through to him.”

“That sounds sad.”

“I suppose it was, but the prince was so busy overseeing the kingdom that he could ignore the loneliness…until the day he met a brave silver knight.”

“Let me guess, he fell in love?”

“Not quite. As I told you earlier, his heart was covered in ice, impenetrable to everything…but he found he liked the brave knight and he even respected him-“

“Enough to kidnap him and take him to an abandoned warehouse?”

“Enough to invite him for a meeting in an enchanted warehouse, this is a fairy tale, after all. The knight had been very kind to the prince’s brother and this intrigued the prince very much. But when the the knight was not afraid of the prince in the enchanted warehouse, something very odd began to occur.”

“The prince’s tower began to rise?”

“GREGORY.”

“Sorry.”

“Now, very few people surprised the prince but the brave knight had managed it just by being strong and brave and very kind. Soon the ice around the prince’s heart began to crack, just for the simple fact that he had someone he could call a friend. But the prince was scared.”

“Why was he scared?”

“Most of the people he knew wanted something from him, either power or connections or to bring ruin to the kingdom. The prince doubted his own observations. Could the knight actually want to be his friend?”

“Yes, I think he could. Wanted to be more than that in fact.”

“Then one day the younger prince came to the knight and told him precisely how to fight for the elder prince. The handsome knight listened and vowed to do what he had been told. He scaled the castle walls and invited the prince to dinner…and the ice began to melt around the prince’s heart. Soon the prince invited the knight to share his quarters. And do you know what happened next?”

“The knight got injured in a tournament?”

“Precisely. And after the brave knight was wounded, the prince decided he never wanted to be parted from the knight ever again…so he asked that knight to marry him. The knight was like no one the prince had ever known. He was kind, incorruptible, smart, and the handsomest knight in the entire kingdom. It did not matter to the prince that the knight was not royalty because the prince’s heart was free of the ice and it was now under the protection of his brave knight.”

“And then they lived happily ever after?”

“I’d like to think so, but that is entirely your choice Gregory.”

“…I still don’t know which fork is which at dinner.”

“Hardly anyone does these days. I hardly proposed to you due to your wide knowledge of etiquette. I proposed to you because I could no longer see myself without you by my side.” 

“…I’m being stupid, aren’t I?”

“No, merely honest. It isn’t something light to contemplate, marrying a Holmes. I would rather you be unsure now rather than regretting it after the ceremony…if there is still going to be a ceremony?”

“…Of course there is you git. I was just nervous about saying the wrong thing in front of all the minor positions and Smythe-Winfield-Foremans of the world.”

“You have nothing to worry about. I can send most of them to deeply unpleasant outposts in Antarctica if they insult you. Now that we have that settled, are we ready to start the happily ever after portion of this story?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“I’ll see you in precisely ten minutes.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too…Sir Gregory.”


	5. Pride and Private Balconies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gregory wants to pay for the honeymoon. Mycroft has champagne tastes. An argument ensues.

“I would like to reserve your honeymoon suite for the week of June 5th please.”

“Mycroft, no. I said I would pay for the honeymoon.”

“I’m not staying in a Premier Inn for your pride.”

“Sir?”

“You paid for the wedding. You paid for the night in the bloody poshest hotel in London. I want to pay for the fucking holiday.”

“Very blunt of you.”

“MYCROFT.”

“Sir, may I suggest you call us back once you’ve made a decision?”

“I have.”

“Mycroft, if you want sex at all during that week I suggest you put down the phone.”

“I’ve told you before that I have more than enough money to pay for everything we might want.”

“I make a perfectly decent wage and I want to pay for part of our wedding celebrations. It’s only fair.”

“Gregory…”

“Mycroft.”

“But Gregory…You’ve not seen the amenities for this suite. You’ve not considered the enormous bath or the private beach. And you’ve certainly not considered the private balcony. I have considered it, you see, because I’ve quite decided on making love to you in the open air.”

“That sounds…that sounds…nice.”

“We’ll take the room.”

“NO! I didn’t say that! I can’t afford it Mycroft. Why is it so important that we go to the best hotel on the French Riviera?”

“Gregory, I know you want to feel as if you’re contributing, but please, let me do this for you. You deserve the best for marrying me.”

“You act as if it was a trial. I mean…it was, but not because of you. I said yes because I love you, Mycroft. I don’t need a reward for it.”

“Sirs? If I might suggest something?”

“You didn’t hang up?”

“I was trying to convince you to my side.”

“So bloody sure of yourself, aren’t you? Bloody Holmes.”

“You do realize you’ve already consented to being a Holmes?”

“Shut up.”

“Perhaps sir two would pay for some of our excursion packages?”

“Am I sir two or are you?”

“Gregory, I could afford all of it. Sir two is you.”

“What packages?”

“Picnics, boat rides, and tours sir.”

“Gregory please.”

“You’re using those eyes again.”

“They’re the only ones I have Gregory.”

“Yeah, but you’re using them. There, like that! You know I can’t resist that.”

“Then don’t. Let me make love to you on that private balcony, Gregory. I’ll freckle horribly regardless of the suncream but it will be entirely worth it.”

“Your freckles are beautiful Mycroft.”

“Blemishes.”

“Do I have to fuck you again to make my point? Because I will.” 

“Sirs could I please have a decision?”

“Fuck.”

“You’re adorable when you’re embarrassed.”

“You’ve said that before.”

“I meant it. Will you let me pay for this?”

“Mycroft, it’s not that…fine.”

“It doesn’t make you my kept man, love.”

“I hate it when you do that.”

“You enjoyed it last night.”

“Yeah I did.”

“I could do it again. My eyes aren’t the only thing that can sway your opinions.”

“You play dirty.”

“Oh I will.”

“Thank you sirs for your reservation the week of June fth, I’ll be sending you an email with details on the excursion packages! Thank you and have a nice evening!”

Click

“…We’re going to have to given the staff ample gratuities, you realize that don’t you?”

“You’re worth it Gregory. Completely and utterly worth it.”

**Author's Note:**

> All of these ficlets were inspired by prompts given to me via tumblr and twitter.


End file.
